All is well...all is well...

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Stanley,

In light of the recent and unpredicted economic crisis, we at Advantage Management™ remind you that we strive to offer the most valued, reliable, and affordable services that will ease the burden of current financial stress. In fact, to remind you of what your $70 per month fee covers, we have compiled a list of these specific things:

1. Shovel snow

We hope that this list has helped you to remember our selfless, generous attitude towards your quality of life. We also apologize for not answering or returning any phone calls you may have placed with us. We are on a very tight budget and feel yielding to our customers’ needs during these trying times may decrease time spent constructing this very important notice.

Through careful consideration of the fact that you spend outrageous amounts of money on increasing grocery, gasoline, heating, and electricity costs, and, of course, our president’s fourteen year old son, Jimmy, mentioning, “why not jump on that train…woot woot,” we will require an increase in your current HOA fees per month from $70 to $85 starting January 1, 2010.

We hope to soon provide you with more of an explanation of why we have initiated this; but, we will need to come up with a legit reason first. In the meantime, we ask that you simply add the additional $15 to each month’s HOA fees and we will continue to shovel your snow and do whatever else we claim to do.

Have a lovely year and please do not hesitate to not call with questions or concerns; we no speak a English.

Sincerely,



Advantage Management