"Suicide is painless..."

I’ve been thinking a lot about suicide lately…no I’m not considering it, but the idea of a person taking their life, as morbid and taboo as it is, interests me. I don’t think that suicide is ever a good thing. I think it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem – for the most part. I think that society and the world look down on suicide because the majority of people will never consider it; therefore, it is never approved.

But my heart goes out to those people that for some reason or another cannot escape the demons and heartaches that torment them. Those who literally hate themselves. Those who feel worthless in this world. Those who cannot see a future in which they can overcome their inadequacies. My heart goes to those that are so full of depression and self-loathing, that they cannot live a normal, productive life.

I don’t think suicide is always selfish. A lot of people take their lives because they feel that leaving this world will somehow benefit another person by breaking down a barrier of some sorts that is currently keeping the other person from progressing or reaching their full potential. It seems to always be accompanied by extreme self-hatred.

I believe that murder-suicide is ALWAYS selfish and NEVER justifiable. Take for instance Nidal Hasan, the gunman at Fort Hood who killed 13 people and injured 30 others. Or the many radical Islamic suicide bombers. They have absolutely NO human right to kill another person for the reasons they do; however, they do have the right to kill themselves if they so choose. They are NEVER doing the world, themselves, or mankind a favor by taking others with them.

Cinema Delights...

I have been reflecting on the past 63 years of my life lately, and I have come to realize how important movies have been in shaping not only my character, but our culture as well. At times we take for granted the lessons of life we can learn by watching films. Here are a few....

Major Barton Mansion Update...

You may have seen the video of the Barton Mansion ghost that was captured by a couple of hooligans as they investigated a supposedly haunted old castle. If not, here it is:



Many claims have surfaced that this video is either a fabrication or just some creepy guy in a big robe holding a lantern, possible performing some ritual. These claims seem to have been substantiated as investigators have now uncovered real footage of what actually went on during that encounter...turn up your speakers....beware...this is the footage they did not want you to see...

"Lawd 'ave mercy pan Miss Percy."
Translation: "Lord have mercy on Miss Percy."

Nothing's gonna keep this kids from survivin'

The King of Kong...

Have you ever woken up in a sweat because you had a terrible dream about Donkey Kong? Lets say you set a Kong world record with 800,000+ points back in the early 80's. You held onto that record for over 20 years. But then some shmo from Washington, who was just laid off from his job, has nothing to do, so he buys a Donkey Kong arcade machine with the hopes of beating your all-time record. For the next couple of months, he studies the ladders, barrels, fireballs, and elevators that are mere obstacles in his way of become a champion. He now poses a threat to your reputation and ego. He ends up beating your score, and your life falls apart. Have you ever had that dream? These guys have...



If you're bored on a saturday night, I would recommend this fabulous documentary about one man's quest to become the Donkey Kong champ. In fact, I would recommend it even if you're not bored.

Home Shopping Mishaps...

Each of us has seen a home shopping network segment where we have been amazed by the great features of a product they are promoting. These networks are very good at making these products seem as though they are the best thing you can invest in. You have also heard occasional callers ring in and just praise the sin out of these products with their incredible, sappy, suck-up, amazing plastic attitudes. As perfect as they want these to be, sometimes things just go awry with the products themselves and/or the callers. Here is my list of favorite "next day meeting topics" in the fabulous, untainted world of Home Shopping:

1. Dell Crash



2. Durable Ladder?



3. Not-so-hot Samurai Skills



4. Lovely Door Chime



5. Another Ladder Great



6. Young Lust

So long Cone Bone...

This is a tribute to the funniest television host of our time.

Here is Wally relaxing on my lap.

Huh...

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I believe when I first exited the womb, I was holding a deck of cards and riding a huffy...so no I was not named after anyone.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? A couple of months ago when I was in the front of the pack at yoga. I couldn’t tell if I liked it or was being violated.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? No, it is dangerously close to Tahoma.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Honey ham
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I hope not.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably not. I’m a jackass.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? No.
8.DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No, but I would collect my toenail clippings if I were old enough.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Raisin bran
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Neapolatin
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? whether or not they are hotter than me.
15. RED OR PINK? A pinkish hew
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My genius mind. I'm just too damn smart for most people.
17. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Bill O Reilly pulling it out his bum.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Communist red
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Hospital emergency rooms, city mourges, state prisons...the san francisco bay...
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football
27. FAVORITE FOOD? Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Lowery's seasoning salt.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Howard the Duck
35. HUGS OR KISSES? I'll take a smooch over a hug anytime
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Individual Income Taxes
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Conan O Brien
42. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Who are those guys...
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Ecuador
45. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Rehab

CCCHHHHUUUUNNNNKKKK...

The other day at the gym I had quite the weird experience. We were finishing up our workout when I noticed my buddy was very tired. He didn't sleep very well the night before and it was taking a toll on him the next day. I said, "Hey Jared, you look beat." he shook his head in agreement. Just then a guy that we had never seen before walked up to me with a smile and mumbled something. He looked like sloth from the goonies without too much of a disfigured face. I thought he was excited about having a good workout and wanted to tell me about it, but I heard nothing but mumbles. So I smiled at him and politely responded, "I'm sorry. What was that?" He replied saying, "Take it back...you called me weak!" I was a little confused and said, "No I was talking to my friend over there." He then said the most retarded thing another human can say to another. "GOOD! I'm not weak." Then he walked away.

It was by far one of the weirdest, most spooky encounters I have had with anyone. Apparently this gentleman thought I had said something like, "That guy is weak." instead of "You look beat."

The very first thing I thought afterwards was that he was the kid that wore capes and read fantasy books during lunch in high school and got picked on by jocks. Now he was out to prove to the world that he was no longer gonna be bullied, but he was gonna do the bullying. He must have thought it was a good opportunity to show his manliness. I honestly felt really sorry for the guy and I hope he is able to put off his insecurities and learn to interact with people in a respectable manner.

AAAAAHHHHH...

two down...one blasted more to go. Goin' for that thumbs up...thumbs up.

Oh Wally...

This is Wally helping me do my homework. Apparently he knows best...

***RIP OFF REPORT***

I came across a hilarious rip off report regarding wal-mart and their faulty security systems. I couldn't believe how much time this complainer put into compiling this accusation, but amazed nonetheless. It's a little long but worth it. Click here to read it:

http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/311/RipOff0311948.htm

TAAAGO's....

My friend Nadell is evidently an amazing cook (fantasticfamilyrecipes.blogspot.com). I have pathetically attempted to cook for Cali and I for the last couple of years and have tried different recipes and different concoctions, but we have always ended up throwing (or throwing up) the food away. However, there is one meal that we have perfected that has always been there for us through thick and thin. It is taco soup. The amazing thing about this taco soup is that it only costs a few measly dollars (about $6 if planned right) at wal-mart, is extremely low-calorie (I'm meaning fixed calories that diminish for every unit that is consumed), and makes a TON. Here is the recipe:

3 Chicken breasts cut up or 1lb ground beef
32 oz can diced tomatoes (don't drain)
10 oz Rotel tomatoes (don't drain)
4-6 oz can diced green chiles
1 pkt taco seasoning (we have found taco bell brand is the tastiest and cheapest)
1 pkt ranch dressing mix
15 oz can kidney beans (don't drain)
15 oz can pinto beans (don't drain)
15 oz can of corn (don't drain)
small can of tomato paste (don't drain...haha...just kidding)

cook the chicken or beef, drain. Add everything in this recipe to a crockpot. Cook on high for 4 hours or low for 8 hours.

Thats it! Pretty easy, delicious, and lasts for days.

Temples...

This is a video I made a couple of months ago when I discovered the windows movie maker program.

Wilford Brimley takes a stand against diabetes...

High quality decision making...

At the start of the new semester, my head is boggling with all the new material needing to be soaked in in such a short amount of time; however, as I was finishing up some cost accounting today, a question came up in my class on how we can apply cost analysis/decision making in our personal lives. For those of you who know me, you know that I don't take time to think deeply about things. For example, I've never had a discussion for more than five minutes on the subject of religion, politics, prop 8, or any other issue that requires a more articulate answer than the one I'm capable of giving, but on this issue I was very, what the Spaniards like to call, pensativo. I thought long and hard on how unstructured the "high-quality decision making" process is in our lives (speaking of me and the Calinator). I've come up with a few scenarios that demonstrate how we unsuccessfully make decisions:

Scenario 1: "Friday night television fight"

Cali and Geoff have just sat down on a Friday night after a long, hard day at work and school and turned on the TV. Geoff, normally the initiator, has flipped through a few channels, nothing really perking his own interests.

Geoff: So what do you want to watch?

Cali: Oh I don't care.

Geoff: Here...take the remote. I'm up for anything.

Cali: No, i don't want it. Just turn it to something you like.

Geoff: I don't like anything. Just take it and watch what you want. I'll be content with anything right now.

Cali: No, I don't want the stupid remote. Just flip through channels until you see something you like.

Geoff: NO! I don't want to be selfish. I always watch TV. It's time for you to watch what you want.

Cali: But I don't care what we watch. Please just watch what you want.

Geoff: NO! There are hundreds of channels on here. There is going to be something that you want to watch. Here...take it. (throws Cali the remote)

Cali: AAAAAHHHH!! just turn the damn TV to something you want!!!!

Geoff: Hey! This is your remote, your TV, and your last chance to turn it to a show that you want to watch.

Cali: NO!!! Your being so...(Cali says a very sophisticated word that Geoff doesn't know)

Geoff: Fine! Then you've lost your cuddle privileges for 2 days...yeah the cuddle bug has gone on vacation!!!

This usually ends with Geoff sleeping on the couch that night. Loveless, sleepless, and remorseful.

Scenario 2: "No dinner makes Geoff a very dull boy"

Geoff and Cali have both arrived home on a Friday night from their respective liabilities (HuH?), give hugs and kisses, and sit down on the couch to rest their aching bones beside the fire.

Geoff: Are you hungry?

Cali: Yeah I'm pretty hungry. Are you?

Geoff: Yeah. What do you want to eat?

Cali: oh I don't care. What do you want to eat?

Geoff: whatever you want. I'm up for anything

Cali: Well then lets go whereever you want to go.

Geoff: But I don't care where we go. It's up to you.

Cali: Oh jeez...i dunno. What sounds good to you?

Geoff: (getting impatient) Anything sounds good. Lets just get something.

Cali: Well then pick

Geoff: I don't care where we go!! Just pick a place you like and we'll go there. Don't leave this up to me.

Cali: YOU pick a place! I can't make this decision.

Geoff: (overly irritated) FINE!! lets just sit home and eat chicken noodle soup! Maybe that will push you to make a decision. If you don't think of something now...then we are not making whoopie for 2 months!!!

This usually ends with Geoff sleeping on the couch that night. Loveless, sleepless, and remorseful.

I guess I don't have a moral to this post, but you can see how not being high quality decision makers can affect not only your business, but your personal life as well. Also, we need a more comfortable couch...if anyone is selling.

Black Jack, Poker, and a roulette wheel...

This last weekend, Cali and I decided it was time to take one last mini vacation before we started on our homework. We went down to St. George to have some fun over Friday and Saturday nights. We ended up going another 30 miles past St. George into Mesquite, Nevada and stayed at a hotel/casino called the Casablanca. Getting there late at night took quite a toll on Cali and she ended up going to sleep. I took to the casino floor right away and entertained myself with some games, booze (neer), and music.

Cali has always had a thing about gambling...it just doesn't appeal to her. So when I told her, she just shrugged it off. Well that night, we ended up casino band hopping around town and ran into some $.50 roulette tables. She didn't want to play so just hung around talking with the drunks and watching.

Then something started to happen from within her. About a half hour into it, I heard this coming from her..."mmm...throw 10 on black." then, "no, don't do that...put 5 on the 2nd twelve and make sure to split the zeros. You can't go wrong with that. Your best bet. Trust me...you'll thank me later." UNBELIEVABLE. It was like watching the grinch.

It was the coolest thing I've ever seen....my wife becoming a gambler. I could only think to myself...."I'm by far the luckiest guy in the world!!"

The joy's of love...

Here are 10 questions to answer about you and your sweetheart:

1. Where did you first meet your sweetheart?
In her apartment in Provo. I was visiting with a friend who happened to have a crush on her. She walked in with a basket full of laundry and a snotty look, anxiously waiting for me to leave so she could get busy folding her laundry. We didn’t really like each other at first.

2. What do you remember about him/her the most?.
Her laugh. She has this ability to laugh at even the most irrelevant things. No, it’s more like a giggle….a cute little bunny giggle.

3. Who asked who out first? It was a mutual thing. We decided to “hang out” one day at temple square, which turned into a hard-core make out session on the temple grounds.

4. What did you do on your first date?
We visited temple square, the temple grounds, kissed, bought & ate pizza, kissed, read books to each other, and kissed plenty

5. What was your favorite thing to do together when you were dating?
Sometimes we would hunt for stray cats in her dad’s 4x4 Chevy, shoot them and cook them, and take them around to all the geriatric people in the neighborhood and tell them it was a special lasagna that has been passed down from generations. They all had such sweet smiles on their faces and were very excited that we thought of them….HA!...little did they know…

7. When did you first realize you loved him/her?
When we were sitting on the couch and she said, “Geoff…when I’m pregnant, are you going to rub my belly and say, ‘I love your mother so much’ to our unborn baby?” That’s when I knew I loved her.

8 Who said it (I love you) first?
I told her, “I think I’m falling in love with you” to try and break the ice and get her to say it. She refused. In fact, the first time she told me she loved me was on our 2nd wedding anniversary. She said she wanted to wait to see if it would work before she committed to the whole “love” thing.

9. How did s/he propose?
I proposed to her on a hill in provo. I played her some soft music and we danced on roses.

10. What are two things you remember most about your wedding?
1. Wanting to get the ceremonies over so we could go to the hotel room that night and watch tv.
2. Seeing my beautiful bride in her wedding dress and thinking, “I am the luckiest man in the world.”

YEAH!!!...

Chargers - 23

Colts - 17

I want bitty...

Last night I watched a show about mothers who just couldn't let go. It made me think of this great skit that we saw years ago:



Perhaps I'll never understand why some mother's take it to the extreme, but I think I speak for all when I say I'm grateful that my mother knew the appropriate time to wean me off the bitty!